Month: May 2020

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Stay on the Path – Part 2

Several days went by before I encountered Tony again. I tried several times to apologize, but he simply kept quiet each time and walked away. Months went by until I stopped trying. Rather, I diverted my energy into transforming this rundown poorly performing garage to mirror the other garage by the water. Tony noticed the changes and slowly began to engage with me again. I was careful this time to pay attention and not let my personal interests distract from my purpose. 

As time marched on, Tony became less apprehensive to engage me, but he still remained guarded. I also observed he had a familiar spot in the yard where he sat alone and just stared at the water. For my entire employment, I never saw anyone approach him at that spot. I wanted to know the secret behind the stare, so I silently slipped onto the bench next to Tony and stared at the water, and sat silently. Tony barely acknowledge and continued to stare as though transfixed by some mystical power. I sat silently just looking straight ahead. 

It seemed like an eternity had passed before Tony reached into his pocket, removed an old, wrinkled two by three-inch photo, and without making eye contact, he handed me the photo. Tony kept staring straight ahead, but I noticed tears streaming down his cheeks. I dared not utter a single word. I chose to let the moment decide what happened next.  

After some time had elapsed, without altering his gaze, he said: ” I truly miss them.” I remained silent to allow the conversation to flow from Tony. I studied the photo more carefully now and it was an image of two boys in tattered shorts and open shirts, barefoot carrying baskets on their heads in what looked like some kind of mining operations. ”It’s been 20 years since I last saw them.” Tony said. I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt the moment, so I just waited and listened. 

Twenty years ago back in my country, I made some terrible mistakes that cost me, my family, he said. I was involved and indebted to some very bad people and to repay my debt they took my two sons to work the mines. Tony went on and shared how he finally escaped from his country with the rest of his family and settled in the United States. He shared how he regretted every day not having the courage to fight for his boys. This story, he told me, he has never shared with anyone else, other than his wife, until this moment. 

I don’t know how this dream ends, because like most dreams they remain unfinished. But I do believe, in this dream, I was used as an instrument to help Tony. My regret is, I did not understand the importance of being available when I am placed on someone else’s path. The good news, however, is that I was able to see the two contrasting sides of Tony. Finally, by being patient and genuinely engaged, I was able to share in Tony’s story and developed a deep empathy for his pain and suffering. 

Dreams I am told have a way of waking us up before the full purposes are revealed. Joseph did not sleep through the end of his dream and had no idea of the interpretation. Likewise, I did not sleep through the end of my dream and have no idea how it would have turned out. But I have learned from the dream that when I am placed on someone else’s path, I am there for a reason.

Stay on the path. Be present.

Stan Brooks, PhD

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Wrong person: Do not forward

Wrong recipient? Maybe

So, you received that awkward email. Here are some possible scenarios and followup actions:

  1. An email you received might be an honest mistake with no significant information, harmless.
    a. Delete

2. Sensitive but not intended for you.
a. Delete
b. Contact the sender to alert him/her know that you were inadvertently copied on an email

3. Highly sensitive not intended for you and from someone senior to you.
a. Delete
b. If the person is in your building, pay a personal visit to inform of the mistake
c. If the person is not in close proximity, pick up the phone and inform the sender
d. In either scenario, do not discuss the contents

4. Highly sensitive and you were either Cc: or Bcc:
a. If Cc: it is informational only. Do not respond to the email
b. If Bcc: it is most likely not your business; however, the recipient probably thinks you should be informed in secret. Note the information, delete, but under no circumstance respond to ALL in the email
c. Contact the sender privately to either ask that you are Cc: in future communications if you believe you have a need to know.

5. You received an email that was intended for your boss to fire you!
a. I am going to let you work through this one on your own. Good luck with this one.

In all of these scenarios mentioned above, how you handle such situations will depend on your relationships with senders, recipients, the organizational culture, and your ability to manage or mitigate risks. Tone and empathy are very important because you might be the sender in some future case.

Stan Brooks, PhD

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In-Basket Exercise

The In-basket Exercise. Leveraging the three Ds

Have you ever felt overwhelmed on your first day on the job? Did your manager log you into the computer and told you to go through all the unprocessed emails of your predecessor, then asked you to provide a summary of the most important correspondence in a couple of hours? Unfortunately, this scenario happens more frequently than we imagine. Here is a useful tip I learned while serving in the military. It is called the in-tray/in-basket exercise.

First, create a spreadsheet with the following column headings: disposition(do, delay, discard), priority(high, medium , low), generated_ date, from, to, subject, due_by_date, actions_required, notes

Next, use the three Ds approach to sort the correspondence: Discard, Delay, or Do.

Discard: Quickly go through the correspondence to identify non-significant emails. This might include FYI, sales pitches, advertisements, internal notes on company events, outdated invitations, etc. Flag them for delete as you scan and once you reach the end, delete this group. Do a second scan for the Delay.

Delay: This category of emails might include future actions, Cc: items, low priority items in the past. These items might need action but they might not be your immediate concern. Flag them and move them into a Folder (Delay). This should leave you with a stack of emails that might require your immediate attention.

Stan Brooks, PhD