We choose to wage war within rather than have the courage to fight the battles without!
The war we face within represents the struggle between our goals, ethics, morals, and belief systems. It’s fighting to determine the things that bring us balance and those that disturb our peace and harmony. The battles without are regrets of missed opportunities. Each missed opportunity is a potential battle to be won or lost and, but in many cases; we choose to fight those battles already knowing the outcome. We, therefore, wish to effectively engage in battles without at the expense of the war within.
The war within manifests itself in episodes of hurt, pain, frustration, depression, and feelings of rejection and worthlessness because of the strategies we employ to fight the battles without. Each time we enter a contest without, or we begin with the premise that we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. Still, we want to be appreciated, or there is some other reason not to fight to win, we, therefore, engage in that battle with a handicap, not focused on winning but, perhaps, on establishing a truce, a temporary solution to a permanent problem. In principle, then, fighting a battle without that conflicts with our inner man is at the heart of our unhappiness.
Therefore, finding balance and peace requires a reassessment of the stimuli that feed our wars within while empowering ourselves to confront the battles without expecting to win. We must be able to face the truth about how we feel about a given situation, even if the outcome is painful. In any given case, we should be able to render an opinion that is congruent with our ethos, morals, beliefs, values, and desires. Finally, when faced with a battle without, we owe it to ourselves to resolve it in a manner that does not conflict with our inner person, which might cause us to surrender the war within.
Stan Brooks, PhD